The Mayors Daughter The Mayor of Bayswater has got a lovely daughter And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS: One black one, one white one and one with a bit of shite on, and one with a fairy light on, TO SHOW US THE WAY! If she was my daughter I'd cut them a little shorter And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS I've felt it, I've smelt it, it's just like a piece of velvet And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS I've seen it, I've seen it, I've been in between it And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS It would take a coal miner to find her vagina And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS She married an Italian with balls like a bloody stallion And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS She lived in a lighthouse which was more lika a fucking shitehouse And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS Her mum came from Glanmorgan and had a cunt like a barrel organ And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS She slept with a demon who washed her with semen And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees. CHORUS