JESUS CAN'T PLAY RUGBY

 


Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic


CHORUS: Free beer for all the ruggers, Free beer for all the ruggers 

Free beer for all the ruggers, Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves


SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal 

ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal 

Jesus can't play rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal 

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!


SINGER: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men 

ALL: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men 

Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men 

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves!


OTHER VERSES: 

The goal posts give him flashbacks 

His dad fixes the games 

The Jew won't pay his dues 

He's got holes in his hands 

He can't support a hooker

He's got open wounds 

Jesus can't play touch judge 'cuz his arms point both ways 

He's nailed to a cross 

He's got some open wounds 

He wears illegal spikes


Be sure to finish this song with the following verse,
to make sure you don't go to hell (for singing this song, at any rate). 

ALL: Jesus, we're only joking. 

Jesus, we're only joking. 

Jesus, we're only joking. 

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves